We have all been there, you pass someone in the hallway on the way to bible class, you flash them your best “have a great day” smile and nothing, they act as if they didn’t even see you! My favorite is when you have been up all night with a sick child yet somehow find the strength to go to worship only to have someone snidely remark, “Man, you look awful!” THANK YOU!
It would make a huge difference in how we relate to each other if we all had an electronic sign on our forehead that flashed a status report of how we were feeling and why. This way as I approach you in the hallway I would know that you were preoccupied because you just learned a friend had been diagnosed with cancer. Instead of flashing a smile and expecting one in return, I could offer a reassuring hug and promise of prayer. Instead of telling someone how bad he or she looks after pulling an “all nighter,” we could encourage them by commenting on their dedication for even making the effort to show up.
Very rarely does a person set as their goal to hurt another’s feelings, especially in the church family. Yet it happens all too often. The reason is perspective. We cannot see things from another person’s perspective unless we actually know what is on their mind and even then, it is extremely difficult.
Stephen Covey, author of “Seven Habits of Highly Effective People,” uses this story about himself to illustrate how getting to know someone changes your perspective of their behavior. As he was traveling home on a commuter train, he noticed a father and three small children enter the train at one of its frequent stops. The father sat down across the aisle from him, leaned his head back against the window, and closed his eyes. The children, however, never took a seat and commenced running up and down the aisle and generally terrorizing the entire train car. Having been “bothered” by their behavior for too long and the father seemingly ignoring their antics, Covey spoke to the man saying, “Sir, don’t you think you should control your children? Some people have had hard work days and would like some quiet time before facing their own children.” The man woke from his daze and immediately apologized saying, “I’m sorry. We just came from the hospital and I guess I am a little distracted. Their mother just died. I don’t think they quite know how to act.” Everyone on the train who, moments before, were bothered by the children were now actively trying to help this man in his time of need.
What a difference it makes when we know the “why” behind the way someone is acting. The next time someone passes you by, makes a snide comment, or just makes you mad, ask yourself, “What could possibly be going on in their life that I could do to encourage them?” Instead of burning with anger or feeling slighted, make it a point to pray for them.
“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2
2 comments:
I was ending my day of delivering mail a few years ago when another carrier was unloading her postal vehicle. It was about 102 degrees at the time (and probably about 130 degrees inside the vehicles). She looked at me and said, "I know. I must look aweful." Trying to encourage her, I responded, "You've looked worse."
Both of us started laughing at my botched compliment. At least it cheered her up.
Very funny, Terry! Thanks for sharing.